I spend most of my television time rooting against the New York Yankees on YES, or checking out movies on HBO, Turner Classic Movies or Universal HD.
But I’m spending more and more minutes with the Retro Television Network, on Time Warner’s digital tier as a sub-channel to WTEN.
The Retro philosophy is a simple one — present vintage television shows from the 1950s through the 1980s.
Some of my all-time favorites are here, like “The Honeymooners,” “The Untouchables,” “Rawhide” and “It Takes a Thief,” the latter starring the great Robert Wagner as government thief Alexander Mundy.
Sometimes, it’s worth catching one of these shows just for the cool intros — which are sadly lacking in just about all of today’s network programming. I can still hear Malachi Throne — as Al Mundy’s boss Noah Bain — giving the government’s pitch: “Oh, look Al ... I’m not asking you to spy ... I’m just asking you to steal.”
But back to Retro. The 3-year-old network also has products like “Have Gun, Will Travel,” Richard Boone’s classy western, and a show that interests me because I have never caught too many episodes during earlier syndication runs. Boone played the black-clad gunman Paladin from 1957 until 1963. So I have a lot of catching up to do.
Younger viewers might chuckle at young Johnny Depp and young Clint Eastwood in their first series roles, Depp in the 1980s’ “21 Jump Street” and Clint in the 1950s-60s western “Rawhide.”
Most Retro shows, which also include “The Twilight Zone,” “Kojak,” “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Hawaii Five-O” have been staples on other cable television networks. Some of these programs had found a home on cable’s TV Land, which still carries “Gunsmoke” and “Bonanza,” two shows also showcased by Retro. But in an effort to “grow,” or “develop other demographics” create “buzz” or some other lame excuse, TV Land is airing more and more original programming.
That generally means reality shows, like the dreadful “High School Reunion,” which updates lives of high school graduates from years ago and gives sofa voyeurs a chance to pity the fools. The network’s upcoming “She’s Got the Look,” is yet another “choose the next supermodel” exercise. In my book, all reality shows — the cooking, dancing, match making, singing and surviving shows — are wastes of time.
I’ve seen the reality trend ruin other stations. FX once had classic television, MTV used to be fun with videos of different rock artists, but both changed directions long ago. So I never visit.
I hope Retro stays the course. If they’ve got a bunch of lawyers on staff, maybe they can find a way to get Lee Marvin’s excellent crime drama “M Squad” and forgotten ’60s westerns like “Cimarron Strip” and “The Virginian” back on the air. I understand “M Squad” has some kind of legal issue keeping it away from TV audiences; the westerns both were 90-minute shows, and their lengths have probably scared away the syndicators.
The lavish “Cimarron,” which only lasted one season in 1967-68, was supposed to be the most violent western of its time. I’d love to see how it stacks up against “Deadwood,” the most recent TV western ... and one with plenty of fights and fury itself.