Lately, I find myself wishing for honest conversation – no matter how ugly it might get.

I am referring to the “blow back” this country is experiencing for electing a black man as president.

I had an inkling of this a few months ago, and while at the Kateri Peace Conference this past August I had the pleasure of spending the evening with one of the keynote speakers, Bruce R. Hare, emeritus professor from Syracuse University and currently an adjunct professor of social sciences at Onondaga Community College. At the conference he spoke on cultural pluralism and economic justice and discussed the giant step America has taken toward becoming a post-racial "deracialized" society with the election of President Obama.

I asked Hare if what I was seeing, the virulent and vituperative attacks on the president, were another form of racism. He assured me that they were and that while it was a milestone for America to have elected an African-American as president, there were a whole lot of people angry over that fact in this country.

Saturday morning I went to the “Congress on the Corner” in Clifton Park with Scott Murphy. The main issue that drew people there was the health coverage. By and large, both sides were well behaved, with each side asking their respective shouters and hecklers to be quite and explaining that people were trying to listen and speak.

I explained to a shouter from the pro-health insurance faction that this was not a time to interrupt, but to listen. He argued with me about free speech and making our position on the issue known. I explained that there are times to listen and there are times to interrupt and this was not one of them. I told him that I have been hauled out of the United States Senate in handcuffs for interrupting their business (giving me a credibility factor with him). That's the place to interrupt – not where the citizenry is trying to get information and exchange ideas.

There were some folks there carrying signs about loss of liberty, treason, the trashing of our constitution and the huge deficit among other issues. I thought to myself, now you're worried about the deficit? I was worried about the deficit when it was unpatriotic, when Bush took a surplus, blew it and began the deficit we now have. And where were these angry people when Americans were being spied on? And when the Supreme Court (that “liberal” bastion) declared that Bush had violated our constitution?

Now, now they're upset?

I was sorely tempted to say to them, “Why don't you just call the president a ______________, and get it over with? At least that's honest.”

One woman was tacking up posters and handing out fliers for “The Great Awakening," a rally being held in Troy that purports to address the Federal Reserve (think any of them have read “The Confessions of an Economic Hit Man”?), War manipulation (think any of them have seen the documentary “Why We Fight"?), debt, socialized heath care, bailouts, treason, “The Lies” (from which administration? Think they'll cover the lies Bush told us to start the Iraq war?).

Frankly it looks to me to be “The LATE Awakening." Asleep at the wheel? – these clowns aren't even in the car!

I went up to the woman and said, “I'm probably going to get into trouble by saying this. I am a Quaker and where were you guys when the government was infiltrating our groups and spying on us? Where were you guys when the government was spying on American citizens like me?”

“That's sad,” was all she replied.

No lady, sad is when my dog gets run over. Outrageous is when you can watch our constitution get trashed for eight years, watch a president mire the country in debt, let him lie to get us into a war that has killed and maimed hundreds of thousands of people and not get angry until a black man gets elected.

When I got home, I asked one of the smartest, most observant and astute people I know, my husband, what he thought. I asked if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. He's not as emotional as I am and has a keen knack for seeing things very clearly. Oh, yes, he told me. This is about race. They can't say that they're angry that we have a black man as president so they point to other issues instead.

Then we have the president's address to school children. Major concerns flew around that he was going to try to “indoctrinate” the children into his way of thinking and was it even appropriate for the president of the United States to do such a thing?

Well it was when they were white, like Reagan and Bush the first. Not a peep from anyone then. Nope, no concerns.

Finally (and this will not be the last – SADLY) we have Rep. Joe Wilson, R-SC, calling the president a liar during his live address to Congress and the nation. I doubt he would have done that to a white man. And I'm willing to bet that he never called Bush a liar to his face when the truth about how the intelligence on weapons of mass destruction was manipulated and altered (that's lying) to get us into a war.

If I was shocked (and I was) that we had elected a black man for president back in November, I'm flabbergasted now.

What have we become in this country? Maybe the better question is what are we still? As my husband says, “It is the 1930s all over again in this country.” We are not as far along as we had thought or hoped when it comes to racial equality and harmony.

There's a truism in social work, “Until you name it, you can't change it.” Until you recognize the problem, until you can literally name it, change is impossible. It might get real ugly, but you can do more with ugly honesty than you can with a whitewashed lie.

I hope the folks of “The Great Awakening” have their sheets cleaned and pressed before the event. At least they'll look nice.