NFL Picks, Week 2
Every year I participate in a Pigskin Pick ’em group organized by an obnoxious friend of mine from high school who spends his Sundays doing nothing but watching NFL football. I spend very little time watching football, and yet I continue to dream of beating him. And so every week I dutifully make my picks.
So here are my picks for week 2, with the winning teams in caps.
Chicago Bears at GREEN BAY PACKERS — Is it possible that the Packers are not as good as everybody thinks they are? Possibly. But they will not lose to the Bears.
Kansas City Chiefs at BUFFALO BILLS — I am not going to give up on the Bills, despite their week 1 pounding by the Jets. They’re playing at home, against an inferior foe, and will walk away with the win.
Cleveland Browns at CINCINNATI BENGALS — The Browns are starting a rookie quarterback named Brandon Weeden. I’m sorry, but the name Weeden does not inspire confidence. Also, his 5.1 passer rating was the sixth-lowest for any quarterback attempting 15 passes in a season opener since 1970, according to ESPN. Meanwhile, the Bengals start a red-headed quarterback, and I like red hair.
Minnesota Vikings at INDIANAPOLIS COLTS — This is a bit of an upset, but the Vikings have never beaten the Colts on the road, and I think Indianapolis QB Andrew Luck will pick up his first win. He was universally described as poised by the nation’s sportswriters after his week 1 loss, and I fully expect that another week of seasoning will make him even more poised. If there’s one thing I want from a QB, it’s poise!
Oakland Raiders at MIAMI DOLPHINS — Huh. I guess I’ll pick the Dolphins, but I can’t think of a single reason why, although it’s worth noting that they’re playing at home and that the Raiders kind of sucked during their week 1 loss to the Chargers.
Arizona Cardinals at NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS — I don’t anticipate an upset here. Look for the Patriots to fully dominate this one.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at NEW YORK GIANTS — Not only did the Giants have to go and win the Super Bowl, they also managed to lose to the Cowboys in week 1. Good grief! It’s like they’re trying to ruin my life! Or at least my picks. Anyway, I’m picking them to win against Tampa Bay. If they lose, I’m going to be really angry.
BALTIMORE RAVENS at Philadelphia Eagles — The Eagles didn’t look very sharp during week 1, while the Ravens looked like a hungry team on a mission.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS at Carolina Panthers — The Saints will make up for their surprising week 1 defeat by playing well enough to beat the Panthers, inspiring talk of how the Panthers are shaping up to be something of a disappointment, and how Cam Newton’s body language is an indication of how frustrated he is.
HOUSTON TEXANS at Jacksonville Jaguars — This game might be a little more competitive than people expect, but the Texans should win without too much trouble.
WASHINGTON REDSKINS at St. Louis Rams — Was Redskins QB Robert Griffin III’s spectacular debut a fluke? No, I don’t think. At least, I think he should be able to go out and lead the Redskins to victory against the Rams, because the Rams are not a very good football team.
Dallas Cowboys at SEATTLE SEAHAWKS — I’m sorry, but even a week 1 surprise victory against the defending Super Bowl champs cannot convince me to take the Cowboys seriously.
New York Jets at PITTSBURGH STEELERS — Team Blowhard looked good during week 1, but they’ll come back to Earth a bit with a loss to the Steelers.
Tennessee Titans at SAN DIEGO CHARGERS — My favorite team, the Patriots, beat the Titans last week, and I can barely remember anything about the game. Like, who plays for the Titans? Do they have a quarterback? Or a coach? Anyway, I don’t think they can beat the Chargers, whoever they are.
Detroit Lions at SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS — The 49ers were impressive in week 1. The Lions, not so much. Look for the 49ers to deliver a pounding to a team that was lucky to pick up a last-second win against the woeful Rams.
Denver Broncos at ATLANTA FALCONS — Yes, the Falcons are a tease, but they’re tough to beat at home. Peyton Manning looked good in week 1, but I still don’t think he’s quite the Peyton of old.
Week 1 results:
My obnoxious friend from high school: 10-6
Got a comment? Email me at email@example.com.