I have some vague memory of recently writing about my new-found equanimity regarding sports.

I didn’t much care when the Red Sox lost in the first round of the playoffs, and I wasn't all that angry when the Yankees won the World Series. I don’t remember being that devastated when the Patriots failed to make the playoffs last year, or when the Celtics lost in the second round. And so I guess I thought I’d become a calmer and more mature person. Then I watched the Patriots-Colts game on Sunday night.

“This game is a big deal,” the New England Sports Fan Friend told me, when I arrived at his house to watch the game. “Whoever wins is going to the Super Bowl.” The game got off to a good start, with the Patriots up 24-14 at the half. Even so, I felt uneasy. When teams jump out to big leads early on, it gives the other team a lot of time to catch up. “We can’t get too confident,” I said. “Peyton Manning can score a lot of points very quickly.” But there appeared to be no need to panic. By the fourth quarter, the Patriots had built a substantial 17-point lead, and I felt comfortable enough to allow my mind to wander. “Who’s that guy coaching the Colts, anyway?” I asked. “Dungy’s replacement. What’s his name?” “I have no idea,” the Sports Fan Friend said. “Do you think he’s actually doing anything?” I asked. “Or does he just let Peyton Manning call all the shots?”

Over the years, I’ve learned that you can never count Peyton Manning out, and at the start of the fourth quarter the announcers reinforced my paranoia by highlighting a frightening number: 21 — the largest fourth-quarter deficit ever overcome by the Manning-led Colts. Almost immediately, the Colts began chipping away at the Patriots’ lead. The Patriots also committed a couple of costly turnovers, such as Laurence Maroney’s fumble near the end zone.

“I really wish we had scored there,” I said, as the ball rolled into the end zone and was recovered by linebacker Gary Brackett.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with the ball?” the Sports Fan Friend asked.

This is when you know things aren’t going well for your team — when you’re wondering whether there’s something wrong with the ball. When the Patriots made a field goal, the New England Sports Fan Friend and I were worried, even though they were still up by 13. “I think they should have gone for it,” the Sports Fan Friend said. “Now the Colts can score two touchdowns and beat the Patriots by one point.”

And that’s exactly what happened, although the whole debacle was made even more memorable by Belichick’s controversial decision to go for it on the fourth down. “This is a disaster,” I said, as the Patriots trudged off the field after Kevin Faulk’s not-quite-good-enough catch. “I don’t know why Belichick went for it here,” the Sports Fan Friend said. “He should have gone for it earlier, not here.” With a short field, it was fairly easy for the Colts to score, and win the game. Remarkably, the Sports Fan Friend and I didn’t start screaming. In fact, the reaction was similar to our stunned silence after the Patriots lost the 2007 Super Bowl. “That was completely ridiculous,” I finally said. “I’m going home.”

What’s really annoying is knowing that the Colts are going to win the Super Bowl. Of course, I predicted they would win the Super Bowl at the start of the season. But I don’t take any solace in being right. Plus, I now have this insane fear that the Colts are going to do the one thing the Patriots couldn’t do — go undefeated AND win the Super Bowl. In any case, I’d like to thank the Patriots for turning me back into an angry, paranoid sports fan. Thanks a lot, guys! Which brings me to my list of the top five lamest teams in the NFL:

5. The Oakland Raiders — For general, overall lameness
4. The Denver Broncos — What happened, Denver Broncos? You know, I’ve been making fun of my friend Dave for being so down on the Broncos at the start of the season, because they won six games in a row and looked pretty good. But now they’ve lost three in a row, most recently to the lowly Redskins, and their quarterback is hurt. They could lose the rest of their games and end up finishing 6-10 as Dave predicted. That would be pretty funny.
3. The New York Jets — The Jets started the season well, but are now 4-5, and seem to be getting ready for their annual collapse down the stretch ... if it hasn't started already
2. The Chicago Bears — Really, Jay Cutler? Five interceptions? And Chicago traded two first-round draft picks to get you?
1. The New England Patriots — There's no shame in losing to the Colts, who are a very good team. There is shame, however, in blowing a 17-point lead in the fourth quarter. I don't care how exciting it was, I'm really angry, and that’s why the Patriots are lamest team of the week.

Although most sports people seem to think Belichick made a huge mistake in Sunday’s game, I’ve read some critique that suggest he actually did the right thing, and that coaches should attempt fourth down conversions more often. I’m still on the fence about this. On the one hand, it seems like Belichick’s decision cost the Patriots a game, which is no small thing when you’re determining who is going to win the Super Bowl. On the other hand, statistics suggest he made a smart decision. (Click here for a pro-fourth-down conversion analysis; click here for an anti-fourth down conversion analysis.)

I'd also like to congratulate my alma mater for making ESPN’s list of the worst college football teams of all time. (Click here for the full list.) Here’s what ESPN has to say about the mighty Yeoman, and the period of futility — 1994-2000— that earned them a spot on this list:

“In 1994, Oberlin went 0-9, giving up 358 points and scoring only 10. In 1995, the Yeoman were outscored 469-72. After losing 56-0 to Allegheny in one 1992 game, the Yeoman had so few players they had to forfeit their next game against Wittenberg — and the forfeit turned out to be one of their finest outings. ‘Nobody got hurt,’ one school official told Sports Illustrated. ‘And a forfeit shows up as a 6-0 loss in the books, which was better than most of our scores.’ Swarthmore and Oberlin scheduled a 1999 matchup just so one of them would end their losing streak. Swarthmore succeeded, while Oberlin marched on, not ending a 40-game skid until October 2001.”

I’m not sure this synopsis is completely accurate. When I arrived on campus in the fall of 1994, Oberlin hadn’t won a football game since 1992. The team’s non-winning ways continued until my senior year, when the Yeomen took on Thiel College from Granville, Pa. I’d never been to an Oberlin football game before, but there was a rumor Oberlin might actually win, and so I headed over to the Dill Field for the game. The Yeomen managed to beat Thiel 18-17, and at the end of the game the fans rushed the field, as the players wept and embraced each other. I’m serious. Oberlin didn’t win again until 2001, when the Yeomen managed to beat Kenyon College. (Click here to see the article printed in the Oberlin Review when Oberlin beat Thiel, although I now notice that the subhead contains an inaccuracy. Since it’s quite possible I was the copy editor in charge of proofing that page, I’m going to keep my sarcastic comments to myself.)

Got a comment? E-mail me at sfoss@dailygazette.net