“Twilight” Um, yeah, so I decided to watch this, mainly because “Twilight” has become an unstoppable cultural phenomenon, and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
And I’m not the only one who feels this way. A few weeks back, I was up at my landlord’s doing laundry, and she mentioned a similar desire to see “Twilight,” for pretty much the same reason. “I don’t know much about it,” I said. “Except that it’s got this weird pro-abstinence subtext, and focuses on a group of vampires who refrain from drinking blood.” At that point, my landlord’s mother piped up. “Well, what is the point of being a vampire, then?” she asked. Which was sort of my question, too.
Anyway, I was shocked to discover that “Twilight” is actually a pretty entertaining film, in a super-serious, gothic teen vampire way. I found myself eager to discover the secrets of Forks, Wash., and the almost-saintly Cullen vampire clan. The story takes some liberties with the vampire myth — at one point, teen vampire Edward Cullen stands in the open sunlight and nothing bad happens to him — but as guilty pleasures go, you could do much worse. I also really enjoyed Robert Pattinson as Cullen, and Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, the girl who falls in love with Edward. I now see why the books are so addictive, and I'm actually sort of interested in seeing “The Twilight Saga: New Moon.”
ALSO WORTH WATCHING: “Let the Right One In,” a 2008 Swedish film about the relationship between a boy and a vampire. “Twilight’s” fun, but this is the smarter, darker teen vampire story. And if you like Kristen Stewart, you should check her out in the underrated 2008 coming-of-age film, “Adventureland.”
“Les Vampires” No, this isn’t about vampires. It’s a 1915 French serial about a nasty Parisian crime syndicate, and an intrepid reporter’s efforts to expose their misdeeds, which include kidnapping and murder, and bring them to justice. “Les Vampires” was groundbreaking at the time of its release, and it holds up pretty well today, although I’d recommend watching it in bits and pieces, rather than all at once, because it can get a little tedious after a while. The movie brilliantly portrays Paris as a feverish, nightmarish place, and is full of clever sight gags and gadgets —I especially liked the top hat with a ticking explosive device hidden inside. And the catsuits the criminals don for their nocturnal raids are pretty cool, too.
ALSO WORTH WATCHING: “Judex,” a 1916 serial also directed by “Les Vampires” director Louis Feuillade. “Judex,” which follows the exploits of a mysterious, Batman-like avenger, is also pretty groundbreaking in its use of special effects and gadgets. Also interesting is the 1996 film “Irma Vep,” about a director’s doomed effort to remake of “Les Vampires.” I didn’t really get this film when I saw it 10 years ago, but it might make more sense now that I’ve seen “Les Vampires.”
“Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny” I don’t know what possessed me to watch this 2006 film, but I’m glad I did, because “Tenacious D: in The Pick of Destiny” is a damn good time. A ribald musical about two metal-obsessed, would-be rockers (Jack Black and Kyle Gass), “Tenacous D” had me from its brilliant opening scene: an exuberant operetta in which a young Jack Black defies his god-fearing parents and leaves home with his guitar slung over his back so he can fulfill his destiny and become the greatest rock star in the history of the world. (Meat Loaf even plays his father.) Anyway, Black eventually meets Gass, and the two begin performing together. When a guitar shop salesman (Ben Stiller, in a clever little cameo) reveals that there’s a magical guitar pick that can transform even the most mediocre of talents into the next Eddie Van Halen or Ronnie James Dio, the film turns into a quest story. This film got mostly middling reviews, but, watched with diminished expectations, it’s a lot of fun. Maybe even the greatest film in the history of the world.
ALSO WORTH WATCHING: “The School of Rock” Jack Black outdoes himself as a cash-strapped guitarist who becomes a fourth-grade substitute teacher and teaches his students how to, you know, totally rock.
“Hard Boiled” I’ve been something of a John Woo naysayer, but my opinion was largely based on his lame American films (“Mission: Impossible II,” “Face/Off”) and not his kick-ass Hong Kong action films. The 1992 film “Hard Boiled” is the last film he made on his native turf (although he recently returned home to film the as-yet-unreleased-anywhere-near here epic “Red Cliff”) before arriving on these shores, and it’s much better than anything he made after that.
An over-the-top action melodrama about two cops (Chow Yun-Fat and Tony Leung) and their efforts to take down a nasty gang of drug smugglers, “Hard Boiled” contains absurdly violent action sequences, and some unbelievably ridiculous moments, such as the gun battle in which Chow Yun-Fat defends himself and escapes from a burning hospital while cradling a newborn baby in his arms. But I’m not complaining. Woo is a hugely influential director and this is one of his very best films, made before his style, which is heavy on slow-motion, balletic fight sequences and tense moments were men point guns at each other’s heads, became much imitated and somewhat cliched.
ALSO WORTH WATCHING: “The Killer.” This 1989 film is considered John Woo’s masterpiece. “Hard Boiled” also really reminded me of “Infernal Affairs,” the 2004 Hong Kong police actioner that was the basis for Martin Scorsese’s “The Departed.”
“Funky Forest: The First Contact” I watch a lot of weird movies, and this 2005 Japanese film is THE WEIRDEST FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN. A surrealist head trip that lacks a coherent plot and is comprised of scenes and scenes and characters with seemingly no relationship to each other, “Funky Forest” is a unique mix of comedy, sci-fi, animation, dancing and singing. Characters include three brothers who are referred to as the Unpopular With Women Brothers, a girl who can shoot lasers from her forehead and a depressed teacher who is trying to impress a girl he likes through music. I watched “Funky Forest” in one sitting, but I’d actually recommend watching it in bits and pieces — it's probably a little more palatable that way. I have no idea what the point of the film is, or what it’s about, but it’s an unforgettable experience.
ALSO WORTH WATCHING: “Songs from the Second Floor” This 2000 Swedish film is also something of a surrealist head trip, although it makes slightly more sense than “Funky Forest” and appears to be a tragedy, about the end of the world as we know it.
“Donkey Punch” This 2008 British horror movie is an unpleasant piece of work, though not without some entertainment value. (The name of the film refers to a violent sex act that can’t be described in a newspaper, and appears to be apocryphal.) The film centers upon seven young adults vacationing in the Mediterranean, and what happens when their all-night party aboard a yacht goes horribly wrong. There’s a lot of drinking and sex, followed by a series of increasingly grisly murders, and although the film wants to push the horror envelope, in the end it adheres rather slavishly to the conventions of the genre. (The girl who expresses disapproval and refrains from indulging in sex or drugs is the one who lives, surprise, surprise.) Still, it’s filmed with a certain brash panache, and it’s fairly engrossing. Although you might feel kind of unclean after you watch it. (The Boston Globe’s Wesley Morris describes the film as “The Real World: Death Yacht.”)
ALSO WORTH WATCHING: If you’re interested in violent thrillers set aboard boats, there’s always the 1989 Nicole Kidman film “Dead Calm,” Roman Polanski’s “Knife on the Water” and the 1960 Alain Delon film “Purple Noon.”
Got a comment? E-mail me at sfoss@dailygazette.net.
