This Boston Celtics team is making me a little nervous. If they don’t hurry up and win a road game — I’d like them to do it tonight, and finish off a Cavaliers team that features possibly the most talented player on the planet but is actually pretty mediocre on most days — I’m going to wonder if they’re vying to become the first NBA team to win a championship without winning a single road game. Common sense tells me that this is impossible, but you can always hope.

What’s wrong with the Celtics? They destroyed teams on the road this year. They stomped through the daunting Texas triangle, beating the Spurs, Rockets and Mavericks, a feat that is almost impossible. But once the playoffs started they morphed into something else, a soft team that couldn’t even win in Atlanta. I don’t get it. It makes me mad. All Kevin Garnett does is talk about how fiercely his passion for winning burns within, and yet he can’t make a single big shot in a single road game. Meanwhile, coach Doc Rivers keeps slipping into mad scientist mode, concocting crazy line-ups that have barely played together all season long. (If these adjustments actually worked, we’d be hailing him as a genius, but they don’t, and so he’s an idiot.) Like, why were P.J. Brown and rookie Big Baby Davis playing significant minutes AT THE SAME TIME in game 4? Then there are the gruesome stretches where nobody can make a lay-up. These guys are paid millions of dollars to play basketball. The least they can do is make their lay-ups.

(For an entertaining take on the Celtics’ puzzling struggles, see what the Sports Guy on ESPN.com has to say here.)

Yet at home the Celtics still look as fearsome and dominating as ever, and I repeat the sentence, “Thank God they have home court advantage” like a mantra. But I want them to win a road game, because right now they’re not a lot of fun to watch on the road. This Celtics team is basically a likeable bunch, and it pains me to be angry at them. They work hard, they’re all about team, they stick up for each other, they can run and defend. They don’t possess the core of evilness that other great teams, such as the New England Patriots, possess. I love the Patriots, but there is a core of evilness about them. I can’t deny it.

Speaking of the Patriots, I’m thinking I might have to boycott ESPN, which I generally have on while I’m getting ready for work, if they keep talking about this Spygate nonsense. The Boston Herald has already apologized for its totally bogus story about the Patriots secretly filming the Rams, and yet here’s Sen. Arlen Specter talking about the Spygate investigation he plans to conduct. Far be it from me to criticize a U.S. Senator on my apolitical blog, but, please, haven’t we beat this dead horse long enough?

Oh, and go Hornets. They’re my West Coast team. They can’t win on the road, either, but the Chris Paul show is always fun, and I wish them the best.