The clock stopped for me on Sunday, Nov. 2.

I had driven to Maine to see again my dear friend the Atlantic Ocean, and I was staying at a place that was as close to the water as you can get without falling in. At night, you could hear the tide washing the pebbles on the beach and I could watch the path on the water made by a three-quarter moon. And Bert (my dog) and I could lie on the bed and pretend we were walking on that shining path right straight out to wherever it led and maybe just maybe never come back again. And I was aching to travel that highway of golden light to take that mysterious road and wander among those stars on this frosty night.

That night I slept heavily and completely, which for me is very unusual. I had vivid and tantalizing dreams that seemed to go on and on like a long ribbon of visions and experiences. At one point I dreamed you (Fred) died and I said to myself "You must remember this, you must remember this." And of course, I woke the next morning and remember naught. At 9:45 a.m., my friend A. called to let me know that you (Fred) had taken that inviting pathway last night and had died quietly in your sleep.

Fred, don't believe what they tell you, we were never ready to let you go. I was totally not ready to say goodbye. If I could, I would have chased you on your journey through the star lit sky yelling "Come back, come back, come back, I'm still not ready , don't go, don't go!!"

But go you must and go you went and it wasn't until last Monday that I remembered my dream, and then I knew that it was your way of saying farewell.

Some of the children at Quest wanted to give you a going away present, so I am adding little notes throughout this entry, a child's goodbye, if you will.

To my friend Fred,

I want to thank you for helping Quest because we get to take ballet. I like Quest also because we get to play lots of games and be loud. Also because we get to be in lots of programs like, Writing Club, Girls Club, Teen Club and Reading Club. Quest is fun because we get help with our homework. Thank you again!!!

Kayla

To my friend Fred,

I wanna thank you for helping Quest because we get to play games and have programs and play ball. Quest is fun because we have toy's to play with.

Destiny

To my friend Fred,

Thank you for having a place for kids after school. Here they help you with your homework and play games and have Girls Club and a Writing club and ballet. They feed us, and show us what to do right. It is the best and everyone that works here is the best. Thank you for having a program for us. We all thank you.

Your Friend

Dear friend Fred,

I am so happy that you opened up Quest because if you did not open up Quest we all would not be here right now. And I am so happy. If you was still alive you would know that your family still loves you. And the people that you helped if you was still alive they would help you now.

Terri

To my friend Fred,

I wanna thank you for helping Quest because they help us with our homework. Then when we are done with our homework we can play, basketball and kickball and hot potato and Simon Says, and musical chairs, and we go to the park. And also ballet. Thank you for helping Judy so Quest can be open.

Tiquan

To my friend Fred,

Thank you for helping Quest stay open with a hundred thousand dollars to help start Quest for ballet on Monday and Tuesday and for Writing Club on Monday and Friday which helps the little kids develop their learning skills. And also for Girls Club on Wednesday and Thursday and the club called "Hot Tamales" where we all have nicknames. And teen groups where we go on lots of field trips and also a reading club so the little kids can read hard and easy books. I like Quest because you can enjoy time with your friends and that is fun. We do alot at Quest. Quest is good because we can do alot of stuff with people we love. We have snack and we play games and we eat dinner.

Alex

To my friend Fred,

I want to thank you for helping Judy create a safe place for the kids in our community. We are losing a lot of our children to the streets and the street life. Quest is trying to help them have a safe place to go. My five children go to Quest everyday. I volunteer for a writing program there. Quest is very successful no matter what people say. In the last five years I've helped out, I never saw a fight at Quest, maybe one of two times an argument may happen but by the end of the night they were friends again. The kids love Quest, they love that they get a hot dinner every night and when they need help Quest has been there.

Jamie

P.S. They really love the BBQs in the summer.

My dear friend, we have had many hot topics, disagreements and many a epiphany, too. You have been there almost before the flicker of Quest first happened in my mind.

You must know I could never have done this alone. And through all those thorny and wearisome years you and I and all those other stubborn, stubborn people kept moving those big boulders and building those shaky quaky bridges.

All our roads actually went somewhere, for they carried children's dreams and fears and anger, too. We have built a veritable atlas of lanes and roads and bridges and stairways. Some we don't use much anymore, but others are just beginning to go somewhere. And we are all real busy in the thinking cap division, looking for the new avenues. And waiting for that still small voice to say "WOW".

Two Questers in one year. My friend Gail, who "trek-ed" up and down mountains all over the world and you. Both of you gone Questing now together. Gail I speak to daily and perhaps I will be also hearing from you. I will listen for that slight clearing of the throat that always preceded anything of importance you had to proffer.

And then your unmistakable voice. "Now, wait a minute Judy," you will say and then tell me how to do it (anything at all that is) better. And most of the time you were right.

So, my old dear friend, last week I asked R to call me; now I say to you, "Fred, I'm still waiting for instructions, what does Gail feel is a good path to take? And really Fred, just call me, you know my number."

We miss you already. Happy trails, until we meet again.

Love,

Judy

QUEST is a community-based organization that provides a safe environment, free meals, counseling, art and recreation programs that keep Hamilton Hill children in school, out of trouble and on track for better lives. For more information on QUEST, visit www.questkids.net.